Utah wants to force sale of piss warm beer

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Written by DJ Spiess

Monday, 28 January 2008

We have some weird laws regarding alcohol in Colorado. It has always bothered me that I can’t buy beer on Sunday, but I think next time I’ll count my blessings that I don’t live in Utah.

Just when I think that society is finally coming to their senses about the outdated blue laws, Utah has to keep things interesting. The theocracy in Utah cannot ban alcohol outright, the 21st amendment protects drinkers, but they can do things to make it difficult on those who indulge. What is the Utah theocracy’s latest hair-brained idea? Ban cold beer.

Utah's theocracy wants you to drink warm beer

This is one of those stories you would expect to read on April 1st, but sources confirm that the state senate is seriously mulling the idea. The lawmakers, Utah's public representatives, are seriously considering banning cold beer. Their thinking (or lack thereof) is this: If you can only buy piss warm beer, you might not drink right as much or at least not right away. This law directly targets the beer demographic that can’t make it out of the store parking lot before drinking. I’m sure living in Utah will drive you to this point.

One lawmaker confirmed the story, and jokingly suggested that you can accomplish the same thing by selling frozen beer. At least someone there has a sense of humor.

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