Why don't they ever steal Fat Tire?

Written by DJ Spiess

Tuesday, 05 February 2008

In Port Charlotte, Florida a man walks into a store to steal beer. This is fast becoming a cliché the number of times that this happens.

Francis E. Dougherty, 45, is yet another thief with questionable taste. He walked into a store, and walked out with a 4 pack of Milwaukee's Best (known as The Beast through college, although one doubts Mr. Dougherty's liking of it comes from higher education) tucked under his jacket. Mr. Dougherty, apparently not aware that this was insufficiently sneaky, will never be known for his stealth. The clerk saw him and called the cops.

Just grab the beer from the fridge, no one will notice. Right.

At this point you are probably wondering what’s the big deal? He’s just another beer thief in Florida. Well Mr. Dougherty went home, drank his purloined beer, and returned to the same store for more beer. Apparently the beer was so good, this time he tried to buy it -- another four pack of Milwaukee's Best.

Then for some bizarre reason he noticed that the clerk was on the phone with the police department, so he inexplicably left his address and headed home with more beer. Weird, huh? He was later arrested for stealing the first four pack. What was the total value of goods stolen? A grand total of $2.49, proving once again that beer thieves have zero
taste in beer.

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My name is D.J. Spiess I've been homebrewing for many years and I hope I can help you enjoy this hobby as much as I do. If you enjoyed this article, please leave a comment, share it, digg it, or stumble it using the icons to the right or the top of the page.
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