The hug monster
I remember returning to Colorado for Christmas Break in college. I had moved from Colorado when I was a freshman in high school, and it was a good five years since I had seen anyone from Pueblo. I met up with an old friend and we hit a keg party. What happened next could only happen in a B-movie comedy.
I heard this yell. Not a “hey howzit going” yell. It was the blood curdling battle cry you make before charging the well defended fort on a hill. I looked over and saw this six-for-five wall charging towards me. I’m only 5-11 so I prepared for the worst, and started to make my peace. I was going to be hit. Before I could defend myself, the wall was picking me up in a bear hug screaming “DEEGE!!!!”
Turns out it was an old friend of mine who I had not talked to since I moved to Arizona. He was much smaller when I moved, and he wasn’t attacking me - per se. He wanted to give me a hug. You know the type. A few beers and you have to bear hug everyone type. This is not the “cute-girl-hug-at-the-end-of-the-night” hug. This is the “oh-gawd-get-off-me” bear hug. That was my friend.
Assaut of a police officer
This brings us to today’s beer nut. I picture this beer nut belonging to the latter “oh-gawd-get-off-me” huggy type. Twenty-one year old Luke Schreder, after a night of drinking of course, decided the local Iowa City police officer needed a hug. Hilarity ensued.
The police officer warned him to stay away, but he didn’t take the hint. Most drunks never do, because everyone loves you when you are drunk. He proceeded to hug the police officer.
Schreder is lucky he didn’t get his ass tazed. He was told to put his hands behind his back and refused. Not a smart move, because it probably added resisting arrest to the charges of public intoxication and “assaulting” a police officer. Good thing for the cop Schreder wasn’t the “kissy” type.
(Source: DesMoinesRegister.com)
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