Top 14 Movie Drunks

by Random

This list started out as the “best beer movies” list.  After “Strange Brew” and “Young Einstein“, the list starts to get really thin.  There is a severe shortage of movies where beer is the central theme.  Much fewer if you are only considering good ones.  Even when you open it up to movies where alcohol is the central theme, you risk placing movies like “Cocktail“, “Coyote Ugly” or “Leaving Las Vegas” on the list.  There are very few movies where Beer or Wine is intrinsic to the theme of the movie. (We didn’t forget about “Sideways“, we just don’t like what they did to Merlot!)

So this list is about fun drunks!  While real life drunks usually are no fun, Hollywood loves to give us drunks we wish we were when we are drunk.  Here’s a list of the top movie scenes with funny drunks!

The Legend of Drunken Master (1978)

Considered one of Jackie Chan’s most entertaining movies, this cult favorite features a martial artist who must be drunk to be effective.  Jackie Chan’s fights are always pure comedic genius, but he takes it one level higher in the final fight scene as a very drunk fighter.  How cool it is to be totally drunk and still kick butt!

Bad News Bears (1976)

Walter Matthau plays an alcoholic coach of a little league team.  His current job is to clean pools, but he makes the kids do it and pays them in beers.  He’s horrible to everyone around him, but we still end up liking him.

Weird Science (1985)

Not quite a classic drunk, but a very funny drunk scene where Anthony Michael Hall (as white as you can get) trying to talk jive.

Beerfest (2006)

Fight Club for beer drinkers.  Everyone is drunk throughout the movie, but the scene where Barry Badrinath (Jay Chandrasekhar) is beer-goggling makes me laugh every time.  His view of the events verses the actual events when he “hooks up” are priceless. He also can’t play quarters unless he’s drunk.

National Lampoon’s Van Wilder (2002)

In reality it is not cool, but in the movies nothing is funnier than drunken kids.  Van Wilder’s rival sets Van up by sending some very under-aged drinkers to his party and calls the cops.  The kids walk out stumbling with their arms around each other.

Old School (2003)

Three words…  “WE’RE GOING STREAKING”!! (or does that count as four)

The Wedding Singer (1998)

Hilarious, although somewhat uncomfortable, Robbie (Adam Sandler) gives his “best wishes” to the bride and groom.
Father of the Bride: Hey, buddy; I’m not paying you to share your thoughts on life. I’m paying you to sing.
Robbie: Well, I have a microphone, and you don’t, SO YOU WILL LISTEN TO EVERY DAMN WORD I HAVE TO SAY!

Star Trek VI – The Undiscovered Country (1991)

After a disastrous dinner with the Klingons, Kirk remarks “Note to Galley; Romulan Ale no longer to be served at diplomatic functions.”

Tombstone (1993)

You’re my huckleberry!  Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer) steals the show.  In many ways, he’s the only redeeming character in this movie.  One of the best quotes is when he is told that he is too drunk to hit anything and is probably seeing double; he answers “I have two guns, one for each of ya.”

Bad Santa (2003)

Willie (Billy Bob Thorton) has to be the worst (and funniest) Santa ever.  The scene where he walks into the line of children to be Santa and falls over drunk as he punches a fake burro is one of the funniest scenes in the movie.  The argument than ensues over who is going to pick him up is even funnier.

10 (1979)

Dudley Moore plays a very dysfunctional alcoholic in 10.  In the funniest scene, George Webber (Dudley Moore) mixes alcohol and pain killers after a dentist appointment.  After an unintelligible conversation with his girlfriend on the phone, the girlfriend calls the cops to arrest the intruder.  Eventually after clearing up things with the cops, the cop remarks “You really shouldn’t mix drugs with alcohol” to which Dudley replies “You coulda fooled me!”.

National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978)

John ‘Bluto’ Blutarsky (John Belushi) is one of the funniest drunks ever.  When drinking, every idea sounds better while you are drinking.  Their idea for sneaking a horse into the dean’s office is one of the most memorable scenes in movies.  That and his famous line “Did we quit when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?”

Arthur (1981)

Again Dudley Moore outdoes himself as Arthur.  Is he the best drunk ever?  Possibly.  He’s drunk in almost every scene of the movie, but the scene with the moose head is one of the best.

[pointing at a mounted moose on the wall]
Arthur: Where’s the rest of this moose.
Burt Johnson: Arthur, I think it’s time we got to know one another.
Arthur: I do too. That’s why I had to come over today. Hmhmhmhm. This is a tough room.[pats the moose]
Arthur: I don’t have to tell you that.[points to the moose again]
Arthur: You must’ve hated this moose.
Burt Johnson: Why don’t you forget the moose for a moment![looks at the moose then to Burt]
Arthur: Right.

And finally…. best drunks ever!

Strange Brew (1983)

Best movie drunks ever! Eh?

Best movie drunks ever! Eh?

This is possibly the best movie ever with beer and drunks.  Any scene in this movie could be considered a classic.

Doug McKenzie: Yeah. OK, well, uh, we found, uh, this mouse in a bottle of YOUR BEER, eh. Like, we was at a party and, uh, a friend of ours – a COP – had some, and HE PUKED. And he said, uh, come here and get free beer or, uh, he’ll press charges.

There were some notable mentions.  They are either TV only, movies that many haven’t seen, or just a bit too old to remember.

Lucille Ball in “Yours, Mine and Ours”
Bender from Futurama
Barney from The Simpsons
Flanders from The Simpsons(when Homer gets him drunk)
Norm in Cheers
Peter O’Toole in “My Favorite Year
Withnail and I is a bit too obscure.

What were your favorites?

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DJ Spiess

DJ Spiess

Beer buddy

I live in Denver, Colorado. This blog is everything about beer, wine, cider, mead and other spirits.
I am a avid homebrewer and winemaker. I’ve been making my own beer and wine for many years. I started making beer when I was in college (mostly because the drinking age in the United States is 21). My first few beers were horrible. The beers are much better now, and I often supply my neighborhood with free beer! It is a great hobby!